Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I fell off of the Gluten Free Wagon and the Wagon Won!

I have always loved pizza.  This is not a new obsession, in fact it has grown over the years.  As a teenager I used to eat pizza 3-4 days a week, sometimes more.  I have had  some good gluten free pizza crusts but nothing like what is available at our locally owned pizza restaraunt.  This love obsession of a pizza's saucy, cheesey goodness is how I fell off of my Gluten Free wagon.

Here's what happened:  Work had been extra stressfull, in fact I had been working 12 hour days on top of my almost 2 hour round trip commute.  By the time I got home preparing a healthy meal was at the bottom of my long and ever growing "to-do" list.  On this ill fated night my oh so loving hubby called to check on me and suggested that I bring home pizza, and if I had had any money at the time I would've brought home a gf pizza for me and a regular one for him, but I was flat broke, which was another frustrating point of the week. 

He, the natural caregiver that he is, immediately said he would take care of it.  I was so thankful to have that item taken off of my "to-do" list that I let him take care of supper without another thought to the task.  So I packed up my dog tired self and loaded myself in the car and headed home. 

When I got home I was starving and I was looking forward to not having to make the decision of what we would have to eat.  And as he gets out of his truck I see the box.  Pizza, from my favorite local Pizzeria!

OMG!!! It will be delicious, but I shouldn't eat it, it will be delicious, it will make me sick, it will be delicious, it will make me sick. 

I was having the argument with myself trying to behave and since I don't suffer from Celiacs I have been know to cheat.   (Now don't get upset at my husband, he has watched me cheat with gluten before and not suffer many or any side affects)  I also take digestive enzymes so when I eat something I shouldn't or if I over indulge  I take an extra one and it helps keep me from reacting very badly to what I have eaten.

By the time we get into the house I had managed to justify that it will be ok for me to partake of this delicous goodness that is really forbidden to me but I need to be reasonable and only have one slice.  As I place the slice of REAL pizza on  my plate my husband stares at me and asks if I have taken my enzymes.  "Yes dear, I have."  So I eat.  And I eat, and I eat and  before I know it I have eaten half of the pizza.  It was wonderful, the crust was sweet and salty.  The sauce was the perfect balance of spices and tomatoes.  The cheese, oh the cheese, it was perfect.  How could anything that tastes this good make me sick. 

By end the night (about 1.5 hour later) I was starting to itch, then scratch, then starts the grumbling of my tummy!  OH NO!  This is happening much quicker than ever before.  Usually the effects of being "Glutened" happen slower.  Not this time.  The pizza took it's revenge on me very quickly.  I spent most of my night and all the next day running to the bathroom.  The stomach cramps, gas, bloating and bathroom trips were horrible. 

What did I really expect?  Who was I kidding? I did it to myself.  I played Russian Roulette and I lost.  I lost big time!

Has this happened to you?  Have you let your emotions or your exhaustion get the best of you when it comes to your diet?  Maybe it was related to a different diet but I believe we have all done it, at least once. I have done it more than once.  Sometimes I have done it because I had no other option and I was starving.  Sometimes I do it to myself because I am tired of feeling "deprived".

I wanted to share this with you because so many people post at how perfect their diet has been and how they have perservered thru all trying circumstances.  I, however, am human.  I am not WonderWoman (even though I love her).  I will make mistakes and sometimes make myself sick in the process.

Here is the silver lining to this dark grey cloud: Your next meal is your next chance to do it right.  Never give up because you slipped up this time.  It doesn't mean you failed.  It means you are human and that in itself is a wonderful thing.

Don't ever give up!

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